Benjamin Zander: Classical music with shining eyes




I am inspired by this. really. and tears were filling up in my eyes..


anyone know the name of that Chopin piece?

I used to think pain, was something to endure and someone in pain was worth a courteous sympathetic frown. i would walk past, and of course preach from my high horse.

but when it hurts to move that foot.
when it hurts to not move that foot
that pulsing throbbing pain.
that ebbs through my veins up to my brain
pounding with the vigour of my tired obese heart.
it plagues my sleep.
it haunts me awake and renders me useless and
at prey to this.. this..
this unfamiliar pain.
it has reached a point where i have trouble sleeping.
and all the doctors tell me to sit tight.

pain.
pain.



it hurts.



i'm so sleepy.yet i cannot sleep.

I went and this test on Socionics


and i got boiled down to either reporter or actor and told to choose.





The Reporter
If your type is ENFP a.k.a. Intuitive-Ethical Extratim "The
Reporter", you are confident and concrete regarding your ability to
recognise common tendencies and possibilities, creative and inventive
regarding how you feel about something or someone, delicate and
insecure regarding your expertise in know-how and how-to, and you wish
to have a clear perception and consistency regarding the necessities
and sensations of your body.

Compatability

ISTP - "The Artisan" ****
ENFP - "The Reporter" ***
ESTJ - "The Director" **
INFJ - "The Empath" *






The Actor
If your type is ENFJ a.k.a. Ethical-Intuitive Extratim "The
Actor", you are confident and concrete regarding how excited others are
about you, creative and inventive regarding your own beliefs and
fantasies, delicate and insecure regarding your physical strength or
position of authority, and you wish to have a clear perception and
consistency regarding your understanding of how things work.

Compatability

ISTJ - "The Pragmatist" ****
ENFJ - "The Actor" ***
ESTP - "The Conqueror" **
INFP - "The Romantic" *







* * * *
- "Relations of Duality". The partners usually appear to be very
different in every respect and yet have almost ungraspable similarity,
as if they were the two opposite sides of the same coin. These
relations can provide a complete psychological supplement and could
easily be the most favourable and comfortable of all intertype
relations.

* * * - "Identical Relations". The partners
usually appear to be very similar in every respect, having similar
perceptions, views and often even tastes. These relations can offer the
partners much deeper understanding of each other's hopes and intentions
but may be of little help when the partners have to deal with the
similar problems they have.

* * - "Relations of Activity". The
partners are naturally able to fire up and motivate each other into
mutual activity, which with prolonged interaction may over-stimulate
and drain the partners. These relations are usually an easy starter and
could be very pleasant and fun, best suitable for short leisure breaks
and undemanding relationships.

* - "Mirror Relations". The
partners can often amaze and surprise each other with an interesting
and unexpectedly original way of thinking or dealing with things.
However, the surprises can be as amazing as they can be bewildering.
These relations can often help the partners to realise their creative
potential, but not without the cost of a good argument.

NOTE:
Intertype compatibility only shows the compatibility between the
psychological types of people. The compatibility between actual
individuals however, consists of many different factors, including the
intertype compatibility. The best compatibility does not necessarily
imply mutual attraction.






If your type is Ethical-Intuitive Extratim - ENFj (The Actor):

The strongest aspect of your personality is your ability to experience strong feelings and emotions. You posses a complicated spiritual world packed with contrasts and contradictions. You will sacrifice many things for the sake of genuine, deep feelings. You have a very poetic nature that allows you to express your experiences in an extremely vivid manner. You have the intrinsic potential to be an orator, to captivate the attention of a large number of people. You are a clear-sighted and judicious person. You can easily sense potentially major crisis and know well what to do in order to avoid it. You often forewarn others about impending troubles. A sense of responsibility towards others is at the core of your personality. You are a person of principle.

You are somewhat inflexible to change and therefore find it difficult to adapt in new societies. You can also show excessive formality during interaction causing you even more problems. You often have a great interest in economy and business matters. You are unsure in your aesthetic taste, especially where your appearance is concerned. You get suspicious of others opinions and advice concerning your appearance. You do not always pay as much attention to your health as you should. You can become so immersed in your work or interests that you can forget about following a healthy routine.





If your type is Intuitive-Ethical Extratim - ENFp (The Reporter):

Your strongest virtue is well-developed intuition. This allows you to faultlessly determine the hidden abilities and talents in others, which you accurately point out or compliment them upon. You also try to help people understand their personal problems, often trying to help people feel more positive about them. Your first impression of people is usually the right one. You are able to maintain warm, trusting relations with people. Your feelings for others, both positive and negative are as strong as each other. You are a top class diplomat. You try to help others using your diplomatic abilities to find solutions to often difficult life situations. You help people to avoid humiliation and making hasty decisions that they might later regret.

Your will power is not as strong as it should be. You are unable to force yourself to do repetitive and laborious work as well as to keep control of yourself in some circumstances. You can become unexpectedly aggressive or push others without good reason. You find paying attention to details quite difficult. It's not easy for you to divide preliminary from secondary. You often do not think enough about the order in which to place your tasks. Because of this you are often drowning in endless work. It is also difficult for you to plan things in order to achieve goals within allotted time periods, which leads you to become physically and psychologically fatigued and unsatisfied with life.







i find myself 65% actor and 35 % reporter

Amazing.


http://www.socionicstypeassistant.com/stc/sta.html?0:::

So i've just wobbled back from amanda's birthday party, and i'm a little red, from the alcohol, and its nice to sip your good ol' tap water, and feel the alcohol draining away. i guess i'm not tipsy, but i am a little high.

the night started off nicely, and in my opinion it was a fantastic outing. honestly. the food was great, and there was a very comfortable and kin atmosphere, which led me to feel at ease. we were making jokes, laughing and smiling, and amanda even approached me to help her make announcements!

then we headed up to have drinks and try to waste the night away. we then learnt some games and played for a while with much smiles and laughter and then the conroversy started.

many may feel that the night then turned for the worse here, in my opinion no, it was a perfect night. of course in between there was that sense of "loss" and muddling around, but even in those circumstances we were joking and and brawling and still chatting. and honestly how often do i get to see andre and adeline? how often do i get to see and smile that much. honestly i really enjoyed myself.

for those who went i implore you not to see the night in a bad light. it was poigniant, heart warming and sweet. i mean think about it. us chilling in one corner after our combined efforts to clean the mess on the floor. us lying down and talking about work, life, people, drinking. and us comforting the puking.

imagine that.. how sweet is it? just try to remember that scene, were we were supporting each other, and patting ppl's backs, and we were encouraging people. that fluster in filonia's eyes from her concern about wei jie. that shared silence and sense of mission me and gene gene shared. it was back to council days again. sending weijie back was trying, exciting and maybe straining but honestly, it was really very sweet. and honestly those who stayed back to comfort the unwell were also very sweet too! i mean just think about the night?

wasn't that a testimony of our standing friendship?

all these,
a show of care,
a word of thanks,
a simple hug,
a quaint picture,
the carrying of a friend.

all these wonderful things,


On Amanda's Party.











P.S. This is the first time We Jie say i fucking fat. Hmmz.

Say Hi to the cute little foxy on the right!

Its firefox download day! and firefox already trumps all the other browser clients out there, and this new version with its search like intuitive address bar is scaring me at how powerful it is! transferring over is fine and dandy, and i'm testing out my scribefire everything works!

as i was sharing with Jeffery,

we're at a day
and age where the power to software is essential innovation to its algorithmic
architecture. Apple's coming with a way to enhance OS X Leopard to run 30x faster based on just a software patch.

FireFox 3 Rocks.

I have no desire to prove anything by it. I have never used it as an outlet or a means of expressing myself. I just dance.

-Fred Astaire


Its that simple burning desire to move your body to the flow and the rhythm of something greater than the music. that thing that tells you



I Want to Dance

iPhone 3G, Mac OS X Snow Leopard.

Apple Mac Music Video

Trisia's Choreography to "Low"




OMG!!! i wanna LEARN!!!!!!!!

(ankle please heal)

I want my Macbook Pro

i want my iPhone

i want to stay in hostel.

i want to buy my lit texts and not just photocopy them.

i want a decent lifestyle

i know that nobody owes me any of these

the only reason i'm not having them is

not because my family is poor

not because my dad is poor(remember his new maroon mercedes?)

not because my mum just got retrenched

not because me and bro cost alot(remember how his scholarships pays for his school fees now?)

not because i pay for my gf all the time

because my dad couldn't keep it in his pants.

because he saves for two families, and

saves for his failing ailing heart.

and because i cannot i save.

and because i spend too much.





Am i blaming him? am i blaming myself? if i was thrifty and didn't spend would i still have these? can i still have them? should it have to be so hard?


For i work and i work. and my underpaying job says Passion. i have it. but its not sustainable. so i dig deeper to find more. how much more passion do i have?

if i have time,
and time is spent for passionate work.
its healthy and good.
what if passionate work is not paying me?
what if i don't even get underpaid?
should i still spend time on that passionate work?
where do i draw that line?
what if passionate work not equals to work with pay?
and work with pay is something else?
Passion?

do i still have that big heart i used to have?



i dunno.



Can you feel the complexity of this frustration?


time to save my diminishing account.



There are many things i do not know. but there is one thing i do know. something that brought me through my o levels, my a levels, my uni and my life.

i'll get the things i want.
i will do it.
even if i have to die trying.




Show me the way to my Vitamin M.

I really haven't blogged in a while.. this new pace of working life, you know only going to work and just plain teaching in terms of just giving remedials to my students i think they really like it and i am EXTREMELY enticed again to teach.. and watching my brother get that MOETA really helps me go into the spite mode cos i really really feel i can be a good teacher.. but i should be do something bigger! i just don't know what that is.. SO many teachers join teaching and so many quit, and so many suck, and so many get buried and their passion extinguished or fizzled out.. concerns concerns.. maybe i should get a MOETA, easier to negotiate with my dad for a $4000 laptop when he doesn't need to pay school fees.


i miss the vubrant life i had! hmmz..


Life is fun now! i get to go out with pearlyn, and just yesterday, we went out with swee and char! i've officially put two mutually ecxlusive parts of my life together, and honestly, it ended out quite well! so that was fun..

Hmmz.. wanna go out ming and regina soon.miss weijie and amanda! y! steamboat on sat.. and we'll see how things go.. LOL.


and scribefire's really advanced and cool now and i cannot imagine living without it! haha.. we'll see how. ^^

Haven't said this in a long time, but i will.

Apple, out.