|[APPLE]|

Ever had nightmare and you woke up in sweat?
ever had a nightmare and you woke up and you were glad it didnt happen?

well. i just had a nightmare where i woke up and cried.
You know the ones that make you wake up and cry are the worst.
also because they're not some wierd fantasy thats not going to happen. its something thats a dream, where you go through a process you know happened, or will happen. and the you in that dream reacted the exact same way you would in real life. where when the extreme things that you did or said would be the exact things you would do in real life.

Which begs you to ponder which is real life.
lets say you dreamt about a butterfly flying over a flower field.
Are you a human going online and reading this blog?
Or are you in a dream that you, as a butterfly are dreaming about?
about becoming this being that is looking at the light in front of a screen?

so who are you?
Human? or Butterfly?
What if you were both?
What if there were more than two or even three of you?
wonder how dreams were always so real when you're in them?
what if they were?
think about alternate dimensions.
how many of you are there?
(idea from chinese philospher, MengZi)

WHAT IF when you slept and dreamt,
you would wake up somewhere else on this earth?
ever wonder how some of us sleep while others are awake?

EVER WONDER how what you dream of comes true?
what if when you slept, you would wake up sometime in future?

~Row, row, row your boat,
gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
life is but a dream.

scary right? i know. i remember learning this in secondary school and it scared me off my skin too. but now after coming out of that dream, i'm not just afraid. i'm sad.

i had a dream about my dad coming back, and how i was having this big row with him, and it was something that that could possibly happen in this dimension. I lost my cool, and i did very dramatic things, and if you know me, you know i would do these things. and its exactly the reality of how possible my actions were, how real and plausible the scenario and my situation could be, even as i was crying in my dream, when i woke up i cried. i cried for myself.

so if MengZi's theory is correct. this blog post is for that Apple Ng, in that dream. or who ever that i dreamt of maybe.

you cried and i know your pain. sayang. don't worry you're not alone. i would have cried and screamed and shouted at him, and said the things you said and did the things you did. and all of them took courage. courage i hope that if it does happen to me, i will come to find or remember from you.

Take care.
you need all the love you deserve.
even if you cannot feel or know about this one.

even if you wake up and you cannot find anyone to cry to.

I love you.

posted by Apple Bapok

"Jane Goodall, dubbed by her biographer "the woman who redefined man,"."
-Ted.com

This lady was the one who first started research on chimpanzees, and hear her powerful talk from the 2003 Ted talks.

Jane Goodall: What seperates us from the apes?

Thank you Doctor Jane.

posted by Apple Bapok

OK. I must say, go to

www.ted.com

as and when you can.. If you want your average, mass media friendly grade of intellectual deficient mush of Human decrement, with gems of gold, diamonds and divine amongst the vomit, go to youtube.com
i was surfing, and i hate myself for it, how i just discovered ted.com, and seriously.
seriously.
Ideas worth spreading doesn't really do justice to its function. for piece after piece of intellectual gems, please, go to ted.com.

So what started out as casual understanding of the worldwide telescope came to this.

A powerful moving video by TED.com, a talk by Bill Stone,

Bill Stone: Journey to the centre of the world... and beyond!

I have not saluted another man for a while, and this time,

Bill Stone, i salute you.

posted by Apple Bapok

Check it out!

posted by Apple Bapok

I'm Stuck on this song.
And it loops and echoes and resonates.
And it never slows down.
And my Psyche takes in its Poetic Nuances.
Poetic.

Jason Mraz - A Beautiful Mess

You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man then lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needed, humble but you're greeted
And based on your body language and shotty cursive I've been reading
You're style is quite selective though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests that this is just what happiness is

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you can call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they're quick and probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy, depending on how you take these words
I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging

But it's a beautiful mess, yes it is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blames
And the kind and courteous is a life I've heard
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt
Cause here, here we are
Here we are

We're still here

And it's a beautiful mess, yes it is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes

And through timeless words and priceless pictures
We'll fly like birds not of this earth
And tides they turn and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together
And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But its nice today, oh the wait was so worth it

Here we are

Of all the cinematic songs i like, this has been the most poetic one.
And as i ponder on this beautiful mess, i can only be overwhelmed by these tears,
shed from the light,
these words have shed.

posted by Apple Bapok

This uncle very crazy! I know two consecutive videos on a post is dumb, but hell. had to show y'all this.

Siao. I love him! =)

posted by Apple Bapok

Been surfing youtube till now. i have the worst throat ever, but i'm glad i had it so that i could have the time to see so many nice songs! and artists!

And i wanna say Jason Mraz rocks!

Amazing.

posted by Apple Bapok

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Hi, welcome to my blog, a place i don't visit often, but i know is there. a place i wish i had more time for. and everytime i come, i leave big parts of myself here. so if you want to know more about me, you've come to the right place.. cheers ^-^

{wishlist}

To get first class honours in LIT.

spend time with my mummy.

Fall in love.

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