|[APPLE]|

I'm beginning to miss everyone and everything.. Haiz..

Omg.. why does time fly so fast. i miss everyone.. everyone.. if time were to go back would i do everything that i did and make teh same decisions? everything yes, except for study harder, i'd do everything the same.. hmmz.. its really two solid good years.. so beautiful, yet so fast.. haiz..

luckily i still have pearlyn..

anyways.. join me on this pictorial recollection..
(haha.. its just wad pics i have.. lol)

My talented and heartwarming 04A3

UWA

Idiosyncrasy

OG4! my very first friends in JJ..

Ahz.. my soft spot.. my dearly beloved 24th SC..

I miss you all i really do.. haiz.. haha.. these are beautiful memories i will treasure.. i love you all..

And yes you.. pearlyn..
i love you.

posted by Apple Bapok

help.

posted by Apple Bapok

Hi..

"Goodbye My Lover"

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'M SO HOLLOW, BABY, I'M SO HOLLOW.
I'M SO, I'M SO, I'M SO HOLLOW.

This song is dedicated to all who have come across me in my very exciting and electrifying two years of my JC life.. you all rock.. and i love you all..

my very very extremely, incredulous, diverse and TALENTED class, 04A3
my pulsating pillar of support, the 24th Students' Council
all my favourite teachers
and of course you.
definately you
yes you
you.

Lemme ask you a very simple question:

"Who do you think calls me out for a cup of coffee or for a movie?"

want me to tell you the answer?

NOBODY.

i'm serious.. do you? haha.. no.. you don't.. look i'm not posting an "i hate you and the whole world" post.. i just wanna let you see my loneliness.. how is this possible?

Disclaimer: yes i have my gf. dun get me wrong i love her to bits but even you. with your bf/gf i'm sure you have friends who call you out. i'm talking abt the friends part.

"i thought apple was a popular guy?"
"yeah! isnt he cool, and busy and so sociable? what the hell is he talking about?"
"he's talking rubbish.. he sure has someone who will call him one.."

This is exactly how it happens you see. i feel that even with my clique of friends i feel like a third class citizen or member of the group.. i'm sure its not out of malicious intent.. but seriously.. its because people think that "hey, apple is busy.. so let him do what he needs to do.." or "apple is so funny, string and sociable.. he sure can take it one larz.. he that one.." or "aiya apple needs time with his gf.." OR "apple is always ok one.."

hahahhahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahaha.. you're right clement its scary to cry and then still laugh.. but its true.. i've been crying and laughing ever since 5 pm yesterday..

This reminds me of an opinion swee shared with me,

"but apple, whats the point.. you'll still get voted in one.. there's no point in voting for you. the fact that you're talking to me as a councillor already proved my point.." (no swee.. i'm not trying to get back at you.)

hahaha..
hahaha
haha
haha

ha ha

i think or i hope you are starting to get a jist of what i'm talking abt.. look if you've been seeing me.. can you tell me, who i've been walking in school with? who i've been studying with?

and now that school has ended.. i feel lost.. i fear that no onbe will call me out again anymore.. i have no one who's studying with me.. am i too dependant? i really am an insecure person.. i'm afraid no one will worry abt me.. and i'm afraid that you think i'm ok.. i'm afraid of that..

i really hope that this bout of tears i'm having is in vain that all i'm now crying for is rubbish.. cos i am not an island i cannot be an island. i want my friendships back.. swee, char t, jeremy, khair, 24th sc.. i want all of you back..

i'm really sorry if i did anything wrong..

Did i disappoint you or let you down?
Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
you have been the one
you have been the one for me
I'M SO HOLLOW, BABY, I'M SO HOLLOW.
I'M SO, I'M SO, I'M SO HOLLOW.

posted by Apple Bapok

i love you so much.. i do..

Dear i want to give u the security u deserve.. i will work hard for our future.. the future with both of us smiling together.. i know i have nothing now to promise.. i just want you to know that i love you a lot.. alot alot alot..

Even though neither one of us knows for sure where we'll go from here..
But i like the idea that we're going there together..

If I know what love is, it is because of you.

posted by Apple Bapok

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Hi, welcome to my blog, a place i don't visit often, but i know is there. a place i wish i had more time for. and everytime i come, i leave big parts of myself here. so if you want to know more about me, you've come to the right place.. cheers ^-^

{wishlist}

To get first class honours in LIT.

spend time with my mummy.

Fall in love.

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