A Beautiful Mess


Wednesday, March 21, 2007; 7:04 AM
Kong Xu

Ever watched the latest Hong Kong blockbuster movie, Protege?

it rocks.

it brought me on a thrill ride, fantastic acting esp from the hot junkie mama, intense scene, strong conflicting emotions, and leaving the audience with a last fleeting suggestion of a motive for doing drugs. emptiness.

yes it is scary.. very scary.. and right now i'm feeling it..

empty.

i'm being an imbecile from the way i treat my dear.
i've been an idiot of a friend to ppl like swee and char and esp hui ling.
lousy buddy for my council mates.
Work is shit. high demands. low rewards.
abhor the obesity.

i don't normally feel this way, i pride myself in being an enthused, positive, exciting and passionate individual. i normally feel tired, you know, with my phrase, "i feel like a piece of butter spread over too much bread". but this is wierd. really wierd, i used to be tired, but i was fulfilled, so abundant with purpose and vector(direction).

was reading swee's blog and she's screaming at some fucker who said the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences was lesser than some engineering fac, well, same reaction, screw ya balls. the arts and humanities help you look inside, and see and appreciate the beauty of our emotions and thoughts. even Carl Sagan, esteemed SCIENTIST, Astrologist, and physicist, reminded that, "..thats why it(astrology an science) reminds us how small and insignificant each of us are, and in this humbling experience, remind us to look inside at what we are.." and it relieves me to know that the higher levels of many studies revert back to evaluating ourselves.

and maybe its too much, cos after joining swee in her scream, i'm still empty. still.. how do i put it..

Kong Xu.


posted by Apple Bapok


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Hi, welcome to my blog, a place i don't visit often, but i know is there. a place i wish i had more time for. and everytime i come, i leave big parts of myself here. so if you want to know more about me, you've come to the right place.. cheers ^-^




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