|[APPLE]|

Ever had nightmare and you woke up in sweat?
ever had a nightmare and you woke up and you were glad it didnt happen?

well. i just had a nightmare where i woke up and cried.
You know the ones that make you wake up and cry are the worst.
also because they're not some wierd fantasy thats not going to happen. its something thats a dream, where you go through a process you know happened, or will happen. and the you in that dream reacted the exact same way you would in real life. where when the extreme things that you did or said would be the exact things you would do in real life.

Which begs you to ponder which is real life.
lets say you dreamt about a butterfly flying over a flower field.
Are you a human going online and reading this blog?
Or are you in a dream that you, as a butterfly are dreaming about?
about becoming this being that is looking at the light in front of a screen?

so who are you?
Human? or Butterfly?
What if you were both?
What if there were more than two or even three of you?
wonder how dreams were always so real when you're in them?
what if they were?
think about alternate dimensions.
how many of you are there?
(idea from chinese philospher, MengZi)

WHAT IF when you slept and dreamt,
you would wake up somewhere else on this earth?
ever wonder how some of us sleep while others are awake?

EVER WONDER how what you dream of comes true?
what if when you slept, you would wake up sometime in future?

~Row, row, row your boat,
gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
life is but a dream.

scary right? i know. i remember learning this in secondary school and it scared me off my skin too. but now after coming out of that dream, i'm not just afraid. i'm sad.

i had a dream about my dad coming back, and how i was having this big row with him, and it was something that that could possibly happen in this dimension. I lost my cool, and i did very dramatic things, and if you know me, you know i would do these things. and its exactly the reality of how possible my actions were, how real and plausible the scenario and my situation could be, even as i was crying in my dream, when i woke up i cried. i cried for myself.

so if MengZi's theory is correct. this blog post is for that Apple Ng, in that dream. or who ever that i dreamt of maybe.

you cried and i know your pain. sayang. don't worry you're not alone. i would have cried and screamed and shouted at him, and said the things you said and did the things you did. and all of them took courage. courage i hope that if it does happen to me, i will come to find or remember from you.

Take care.
you need all the love you deserve.
even if you cannot feel or know about this one.

even if you wake up and you cannot find anyone to cry to.

I love you.

posted by Apple Bapok

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Hi, welcome to my blog, a place i don't visit often, but i know is there. a place i wish i had more time for. and everytime i come, i leave big parts of myself here. so if you want to know more about me, you've come to the right place.. cheers ^-^

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To get first class honours in LIT.

spend time with my mummy.

Fall in love.

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