|[APPLE]|

hmmz... went to clem's site and saw a blog entry title : "What makes a man a "real man"?"
And being the smartypants that i am, i obviously have drawn definitions for a "man" eons ago, and i wanted to see his take on it.. was quite impressed but i feel, well, i feel, ermz.. not as accurate as i thought, (ok this means, [no offence clement] that i think that was a shallow interpretation of a man, considering that he is biologically a male, and someone who is in the same lit class, expected more but well, it was already in a level above the average understanding..)

What makes a man a "real man"?

like clem(hmzz i starting to refer to him like he's my old buddy) said himself, there's a million and one answers to this, but here's my take on it.. hope it makes sense.. here..

First and foremost, Biologically, a man is someone with a male genital organ.. Yes? No?
NO!

The idea of a man is an attitude, a style, a mindset, a way of doing things. THAT is a man. (Bet this explains why u find some women manly..lol) the biological aspect of a male renders the conventional human to expect degrees of "manly behaviour" and will praise him for doing it.

Then what is this "Attitude"? This "Style"? This "Mindset"? This "Way of doing things"?

let me fundamentally say, that A man, is someone who will do what has to be done. (i'll handle common misconceptions before elaborating on this)

I'd like to talk abt this idea of a man Daring to cry. Daring to express feelings. Daring to venture. Daring to take risk. and most popular of all Daring to wear pink. (fed up of explaining to ppl wad they really are saying if they ask if "you are man enough to wear pink?")

HELLO?
a man is defininately not defined by the magnitude of his guts. thats very small in perspective. because this assumes that a man who does not do something that is bold is not a man. a man who fears controversy is not a man. and a man who doesnt break stereotypes is not a man. How can a person be judged as a man, because he has the guts, and boldness to do these controversial things? these questions of "are you man enough to do this?" well, it just shows that this perception assumes that a man is defined by his acceptance of dares. is that a man? some one who can take up dares? this perception, well i think NO.

I'd like to also talk abt stoicism. many feel that a man is someone who is stoic, capable of suppressing everything, capable of never ever crying. Someone who is able to endure and absorb physical, spiritual, mental or emotional pain.

But what is evident here is that we are judging a man by his(commonly) capability to tolerate. in that case is someone who is unable to tolerate pain a lesser man? We are assuming that a everytime a man becomes a patient he isnt a man? if so, are the great tolerators of pain;houdini, exotic needle bed sleepers and resters, all super maly? such an opinion that a man is someone who has the capacity to suppress is well, childish.

A man, is someone who will do what has to be done. This means a man will be the someone who will cut of his arm if he was bitten there by a venomous snake and must save his heart from poisoning. A man will do what has to be done. If he has a family, if what has to be done is to take care and love and devote emotions(duh), and that person does it, thats a man. A man will save a man who's hanging by a vine of a 3 km cliff. A man will do what has to be done in his love relationship(the common "thing to be doen" is to respect, for he wants that love and it survives on that. etc. you get it). A man will not cry if there are things to do, he will hold it because the problem isnt settled yet. A man will cry when he has to do it to relieve himself, to be fair to himself, or to help himself heal etc.

i 'm sure u can think of many other more scenarios where there are definately things that have to be done. So i'm also including the situation of a man choosing to do the thing has to be done even if everyone goes the other way, or even if he personally and selfishly likes the other option and if that option benefits everyone but him. a man will still do it.

don't get me wrong i'm not trying to define the things that "has to be done". no thats not my job. thats teh job of that individual in question. A man can find having a daily dosage of cigarettes is what has to be done, and doing something to get it, that is a man attitude. This explains how sometimes, socially un-benefiting, unmoral, 'bad' actions are considered man. (But these are extreme cases where the people have got really lousy education of what is right and wrong and what has to be done.)

therefroe it is childish to judge a man by his actions(in a myopic sense.. you know what i mean) we have to bring that action in the context of teh situation and see, because that style, that mindset, that attitude, that way of execution, is a mark of a man. that is a real man. for there is no universal set of qualities(more will come up in future) a man possess, its basically just what a man does in a particular context that justifies him as a "real man"

Remember this, A man, is someone who will do what has to be done.

posted by Apple Bapok

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Hi, welcome to my blog, a place i don't visit often, but i know is there. a place i wish i had more time for. and everytime i come, i leave big parts of myself here. so if you want to know more about me, you've come to the right place.. cheers ^-^

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To get first class honours in LIT.

spend time with my mummy.

Fall in love.

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